Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
