Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
