dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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