he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
