can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
