I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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