If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
