I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
