dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
