You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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