He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
