I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
