Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
