i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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