Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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