My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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