Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
