very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just want to make out with him forever
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
