There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
