4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
