erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
