Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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