my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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