just come out here and I will go home with you...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Sober January is a disaster.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
