Me too!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
