i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
