Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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