You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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