At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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