Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
