wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
