All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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