you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
