i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
