i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ok first of all what the fuck
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
