i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
