I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
