She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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