The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
