Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
