sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
