he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
