Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
