Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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