I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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