I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
