Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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