what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
