jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You took a bar mat shot.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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