i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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