i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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