you would pick up someone in the library
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
