i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
